Even more disturbing than the Newtown massacre of 20
children and six adults at an elementary school, is the trail of headlines
about other young men 13-20 years old making comments on Facebook endorsing the
violence against the school children.
A 13-year-old in Florida was recently arrested for making
threatening comments about shooting everyone at school; in Ohio another
20-year-old was arrested for praising the Connecticut school shooting, and a
California man, 24 years old, was also arrested for making threats against LA
public schools and referred to the Connecticut school shooting.
And so I am compelled to ask, where does this kind of depraved
thinking come from, and why would they even publish it?
Some people say that the supply of guns is to blame. Others
will focus on the violence of video games. And yet still others will say that
we have to get a better handle on mental illness among our youth. Some people
are born with problems, as so eloquently described by Liza Long a writer who
described how she struggles with a mentally ill teenager and cannot find decent
help, in her article: “
And it seems to me there are just so many ways power is
abused with or without guns - we are living in a society that seems to glorify
at the worst, or at the very least, accept violence as a form of entertainment
and/or the bully in friendships, romance, workplaces and politics.
What eludes us still, and perhaps deserves more attention is
the question of whether the media and our network culture (texting and social
media) is conditioning children for less compassion and desensitizing kids
about a lot of things - including their own inherent worth, common sense and
human decency.
According to the American Medical Association, American
Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, American Academy of
Family Physicians and American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry the
media violence do affect children’s behavior, attitudes and values. An average
child between ages 8 to 18 spends more time in front of the computer,
television and game screens than any other activity except sleeping (Huston,
1992). It is estimated that by the time
the average child reaches the sixth grade, they will have seen about 100,000
acts of violence, which will include up to 8,000 simulated murders.
A study released in 2011 from the Associated Press and MTV,
the use of inappropriate language and offensive slurs is common language on the
net between teens and they are not offended by discriminatory slang. An online poll study that interviewed 1,355
youth ages 14-24 were surveyed and said they regularly encounter offensive
words including “slut”, “fag” and “retard,” and 71% are more likely to use
these kinds of words online. They use
this language because it’s perceived as being cool or funny. So, it isn’t so farfetched to understand why
the 13 year old Florida boy was completely comfortable posting the inappropriate
comments endorsing the Newton shootings. It seems that young people aren’t
worried about how this kind of content affects others both on line and
off.
Is all this exposure conditioning kids to loosen their
boundaries on what’s acceptable to say or share on line? Are they being conditioned to simply react
with the first thing that comes to mind? According to this same poll, four out
of ten surveyed had given little or no thought to how their texts or online
posts could be passed onto others, and two thirds hadn’t even considered how
this content could get them in trouble with either their parents, schools and
the law for that matter.
Are there no more inhibitions? Is the lifestyle we lead
today taking away their capacity to think for themselves, discern truth, and
communicate responsibly with a purpose?
Having two teenagers of my own, I am wondering about the influence
the media, reality TV shows, the open forum of the internet is affecting their
own ability to abide by a standard of online safety and respond to situations
as responsible digital citizens.
So the question is, how do we help our youth to develop the ability to establish their own individual discernment to solve problems and respond to situations in ways
that are edifying, add value and solve problems, as oppose to going along with
what the crowd is doing? How can we help
our kids be aware and not fall victim to this “group think” mentality?
***
Perhaps we need to examine in our own homes, with the advent
of the Internet in and mobile phones redefining family life, are children today
conditioned to lack the appropriate boundaries necessary to a) think correctly
about their place and purpose in the world, and 2) exercise responsible freedom
of speech?
What I like about her book is that she is advocating for
parents to embrace fully the model of authority that made the republic of the
United States possible - modeling their homes like “mini-republics”. She also introduces the idea of the parent
model to meet children where they are (emotionally/mentally), speak truth with
mercy (explain the rules), do not judge, hold individuals accountable as we also
offer our forgiveness of their transgressions, to look up and aim high and be empowered.
It is provocative and I believe she makes a good point that
thought leadership for children at home is now much more important than ever. It seems
like a good place to start.
For more on parenting in the Network culture please visit:
For more thoughtful discussions please visit:
3 Moms and a Mike Radio Show; Discuss Social Issues Affecting American Families
3 Moms and a Mike Radio Show; Discuss Social Issues Affecting American Families
Thought provoking post Marie. I often blame myself for not being strict enough about their time watching TV and other technical devices. How do we go back now - especially when one of my children is 18 years old. Civility and good common sense has diminished in our society along with plain old good manners.
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